Any decision made out of fear is a wrong decision.
Fear comes from self-doubts, other’s doubts to the unknown. It limits the possibility to try, the courage to make new possibilities.
Never be frustrated by fear.
Take actions to be prepared for the unknown.
I taught kindergarten today. For about 30mins.
I was trying to tell them the story of Arrietty in Mandarin, the brave 14-year-old little people.
But I doubt what they got from my telling.
I felt such a failure. And some kids were just being so nice to listen, they tried so hard to understand, but I don’t think I made them understood.
It was such a beautiful story and I was so suck at telling stories. Even in Chinese!
I turned into a burst of cry after the teaching. I love the kids, but I failed at communicating with them. There are several reasons.
It proved again.. for sth I am not born to be good at (like explaining/retelling), No Pain No Gain. And I was so afraid to overcome my biggest fear that I was not good at this. I chose not to learn. I found excuses. I stopped learning and improving.
(Maybe I can try sth different a little bit..push myself a little bit..at a time)
It reminded me of my earliest teaching experience. The kids were cute but they were not interested in learning the language. I spent more time on discipline than teaching. But I was poor at classroom management. I don’t want to give them control (like I don’t like myself to be controlled). Then I need to rethink the difference between discipline/control.
As for not getting along with mentor teacher, still I can either overcome it or will meet the same problem again. The strict people always know that there is only one way to do great (that is by working hard). They hate irresponsible people. They control cos they are afraid that things will go stuck in someone else’s hands. (My mentor teacher can be more responsible for my learning if she takes a step back to care about my development or she could just make it clear that its none of her business. (But first of all, did I take full responsibility of my own learning? Did I look like I am eager to learn?) There is space for both of us to grow. Or any of us can lead to make things a little bit better (less awkward).
This has been a nice very nice break so far.
Try sth different. And they do work.
Candle light. Hot bath. Good Smell. Exercise.
Creativity comes from a clean mind.
I always doubt that why there is only one right answer?
A devoted and faithful life is a happy life.
Its not boring. Its just lifeless.
I have experienced happiness and suffering all through these years and there is going to be more going on and I know it is not a easy life, but it is worthy to live, to give it a try.
Human life is like weak candle light.
And God is the bright sun.
.
Its the belief between God and each individual.
Its a personal choice.
I cant live the religious life and be judged by all the teachings interpreted by humans.
Holy God. Pls talk to me.
I went shopping yesterday night from 6pm-1am. First time thanksgiving shopping in the U.S.
Around midnight, I was excitedly searching for a dress to match a perfect shirt I found earlier.
I like to see myself being very professional. The other side.
I did not realize how a person’s outlook matters in the US culture until my friend told me yesterday that one of her friend failed in the interview because of improper appearance. It does not matter after the interview: you may wear very casually. But you have to have a professional presence in the interview.
Finally, I found the reason why I was turned down in a previous interview even though I performed greatly in the interview. I was dressing like a high school kid.
So I just started to learn more about dressing code in the U.S..about shopping…and more about my tastes and likes.
The good thing is that the happiness just started.
Today’s moment is sickness.
I was so weak in the car when my friend was driving on freeway, up and down hills.
I threw up.
No one else can take away the increasing pain.
Seconds like years.
I had such an anxiety when I saw red lights.
All I thought is to speed up to home, to LIE DOWN and SCREAM.
Only to close my eyes.
The moment I had two thoughts. First, I understand how painful it feels to wait if someone is in ambulance. PLS give them the way.
And also the life philosophy of living in the moment?
Better not a sick moment.
I said “I hate you” to a six-year-old girl.
She pissed off. And she was not going to make up with me.
Her mom explained “hate” is a strong word to her.
I apologized. She was still not over it.
How people interpret the word in different ways.
Values matters..but different values will cause conflicts.
It makes me wondering how often we are used to our small innocent world and get hurt whenever meet with some strong words. Those strong words are just another part of the world which are new to us. Parents will try their best to protect the children to live under the innocent world which will go against a bad world. But Wait, it is still the same world.
Hey, girl.
Wipe your tears.
How can I tell you.
The word does not mean to hurt you. Neither does the world.
But it does hurt.
All the time.
The secret is the Space Design.
I was thinking how to compete Starbucks all the time.
The drinks there are terrible. The prices are insane. (almost double price in China, eg. nearly 6 dollars for a tall latte)
But it’s still crowded with customers. All the time. All the time.
It s the space people love. The environment.
How to create an impressive new space?
I did not have the confidence until I saw a loft style coffee shop where they play movies on the wall.
I think it’s time to change. People love new experience as long as you can make it desirable.
And there is no limits to create a new space!!!!
Bad weekend.
Aimed high to finish a business plan in two days but ended up stuck there.
Have to ask for leave for work and try to regain the balance using a half-day’s rest.
The problem is poor planning (lack of small steps toward big assignments)
WRONG JUDGEMENT>poor planning
After overview of the Bplan, I thought it’s easy to write an outline. I did not predict so many unfamiliar questions would encounter later. The problem is I DID NOT WRITE ANYTHING DOWN I JUST THOUGHT it through IN MY MIND and gave an inaccurate judgement of how easy the task would be.
Its impossible for me to finish the task in two days. I should have known this earlier. I need help from the beginning.
NOBODY WILL HELP AT THE LAST MINUTE. I was stupid to ask an hour before the deadline.
The lesson is IF YOU DONT PLAN WELL, YOU CAN NOT DO IT WELL.
NEVER TRY TO FINISH A BIG PROJECT IN SHORT TIME.
YOUR BRAIN WILL DRAIN.
YOUR BODY WILL DRAIN.
SPREAD THE PRESSURE!
Good thing is challenge is still going on. I always have chance to PRACTICE and change the habit.
Thanks for the nighttime resting.
ITS like magic. AND I recovered so fast!
REST WELL> FELL WELL>ACCOMPLISH WELL!
Tips for myself:
DONT OVERLOOK THE PROBLEMS but always be optimistic!
Believe it will be better. Believe you are getting somewhere if you start early.
(Also. You need to share with someone and ask for help on time!
I have been working at a on-campus coffee shop for a week, actually for four days.
Of course I hit wrong buttons, charged wrongly and took wrong orders.
Truly everything is not difficult. The difficulty comes when you have to handle every little things together.
Take the order, finish the transaction and make the drink.
My leader said, “It’s common to make mistakes, but unlike you, I get out of the mistakes quickly. ”
Yes, she is right. Sometimes I made the same mistakes twice.
She tried to find the problem and told me to slow down for every step.
I don’t like her yelling. But those are really learning moments for me.
Why it’s me making the mistakes? What’s wrong? How can I do better?
Her yelling makes me even more nervous. And I cant stop doing wrong. Its like a physical reflection.
Where does the anxiety come from? The solution became either she changes her leading style or I overcome the fears.
What changes is when I am working with calmed down man, I am not getting nervous with them. And I can focus, I can do better. The other people’s emotional feelings is so distracting for me. Maybe I am too eager to show that I can learn fast but make more mistakes instead.
And the intention of avoiding mistakes or covering up mistakes is killing me!! Sometimes I am not sure about the order, But I feel stupid to ask again. I assume the wrong order in the end, which is more embarrassing and causes more trouble.
Focus on every detail of the work and one thing at a time, be accurate and slow.
Don’t be afraid of mistakes. Get rid of them.
Ask again to double check. Don’t make assumptions.
no66planet 